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19 December 2010
Christmas
15 December 2010
Given up on Maxpages. Switched to BT
20 November 2010
Maxpages now seem to be "Minpages"
01 November 2010
Obama a Socialist? I don't think so!
19 October 2010
Asinine Announcements
Travelling on South West Trains recently between London Waterloo and Teddington I was struck by how irritating are the repeated automated on-board announcements.
The more I listened to them the more I thought the number of words could be significantly reduced.
In measured tones (delivered by a prissy sounding female throw-back to 1940s BBC announcers) we get ..
“The next station is Norbiton. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform edge.”
Sixteen words! Let’s start wielding the axe ..
“Next stop Norbiton. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform edge.”
Fourteen words. But wait a minute; this is a public safety announcement, not a polite invitation. We can dispense with polite niceties ..
“Next stop Norbiton. Mind the gap between the train and the platform edge.”
Thirteen words. But wait a minute; where else would the gap be but between the train and the edge of the platform .. between the train and the platform roof? (There may be such a gap, but it doesn’t have to concern us.)
“Next stop Norbiton. Mind the gap between the train and the platform”.
Twelve words. But wait a minute; where else would there be a gap that we have to mind (apart from between the ears of the person who wrote these announcements)?
“Next stop Norbiton. Mind the gap.”
Six words. But wait a minute; we know there is going to be gap, because without it there’d be a nasty scraping noise as the train pulled into the station. People tend to aim for a solid surface rather than a gaping void when alighting from a train.
“Next stop Norbiton.”
Three words. There you go! – an 81% reduction in verbiage and we have all the information we need.
South West Trains take note.
09 October 2010
Stupid Signs
Obviously it has escaped their notice that if you are driving a car along a road, then the actual road ahead is pretty much in your field of vision.
This being the case, the absence of road markings tends to be self-evident.
If the road is not in your field of vision I venture to suggest you should not be driving.
Similarly, if you read this notice, and then see road markings, then you might be hallucinating, in which case it's time to hang up your driving gloves.
Fortunately for you, however, it is usually the case that you are seeing the road markings because, having painted them on the road, the highways people have gone away forever and forgotten to take the sign with them.
03 October 2010
Return of Common Sense
26 September 2010
More Religious Nuttery
Now I find myself reading in the New York Times today about Bishop Eddie L. Long (by the way - who made him a Bishop?) who has built a religious and financial empire from scratch, transforming a small, faltering church into a modern cathedral with one of the largest and most influential congregations in the country, down in Georgia.
Apparently four former members of his youth group have alleged that he coerced them into performing homosexual acts with him. Well, of course the word "alleged" at this stage has to be uppermost in our minds, but it was not just this that incensed me; it was the fact that this man thinks that God wants people to prosper, and Long certainly has: he favours Gucci sunglasses, gold necklaces, diamond bracelets and Rolex watches. He lives in a 5,000-square-foot house with five bedrooms, which he bought for $1.1 million in 2005.
I never fail to be astonished by how many so-called religious leaders actually know what God wants, and what God wants is - surprise, surprise - usually pretty much in line with their own fantasies and desires. Long apparently believes that Jesus was not a poor man. He also believes that women should submit to their husbands. (Where have I heard that before?!)
No wonder this man heads up such a rich and powerful Baptist Church with a huge congregation .. his message is get rich, show off your wealth, and subdue your women. It's what God wants.
06 September 2010
Corporate Madness
I had hoped that with the privatisation of the railways we might see some more sensible decisions by train company boardrooms, driven as they should be by the need for good customer relations.
It is sad to report, then, that Stagecoach (the company that operates South-West Trains) have seen fit to fine Emma Clark and Davyd Winter-Bates £114 for getting off their train two stops early!!!
The couple were travelling to Southampton from London with South West Trains when they decided to get off two stops early at Eastleigh.
When they handed over their tickets at the station, they were told they were each being fined £57 because they had not stayed on the train until their destination.
The fine was twice the standard fare of £28.50.
The company said the couple had been fined because they were using discounted tickets, which do not allow passengers to break their journeys.
In a statement, the train company said: “Leaving a train early is not allowed on heavily discounted tickets. The fine is double the standard single fare.”
Miss Clark said to the Sun Newspaper, “It is utter madness. I could understand being fined if I had stayed on the train two stops beyond my destination.”
Hear! Hear! I can only describe this as a signal failure of common sense leading to a PR image heading straight for the buffers!
22 August 2010
31 July 2010
Ground Zero and Zero Tolerance
16 July 2010
Two Things making me Mad
07 July 2010
Digital Britain
Apparently the proposal to switch off FM radio by 2015 is still on course. I am incensed about this. Nobody asked us our opinion. Millions of car radios will become obsolete. Millions of domestic portable radios will be worthless. DAB radio has an appalling record for quality and ease of reception.
I can't use a DAB radio anywhere in my house (even though I'm told that with my Post Code I should be able to get it!)
"Digital Britain" = "Backward Britain".
22 June 2010
The Coalition's Emergency Budget
10 June 2010
BP - (Barak's Politics)
The devastating oil blow-out in the Gulf of Mexico was caused by an inadequate fail-safe device that was not owned by BP.
31 May 2010
Israel - A Rogue State
14 May 2010
UK GENERAL ELECTION - It's the Dave & Nick Show!
07 May 2010
UK GENERAL ELECTION & the VOTING SYSTEM
28 April 2010
UK GENERAL ELECTION & the VOTING SYSTEM
25 April 2010
UK GENERAL ELECTION & the VOTING SYSTEM
I asked my Conservative Candidate Anne McIntosh whether she would sign up to Electoral Reform.
She replied (predictably) - “I support the tried and tested first past the post system”.
She has therefore lost any chance of receiving my vote.
One of the reasons people have become disconnected from Politics is the increasing realisation that the governments we elect bear no resemblance to the feelings of the voting public.
The Conservative slogan is Vote for Change and yet David Cameron has set his face against the only change we are crying out for: an end to a so-called democratic system that allows him to say things like “A vote for Clegg is a vote for Brown”, “A Lib Dem vote is a wasted vote”, and then for Anne McIntosh to say this is a “tried and tested system”.
It is a system that has given us governments with huge majorities based on the support of less than 40% of the voters; a system where politicians insult our intelligence with this garbage about wasting votes and voting for one person and getting another. Such unrepresentative governments gave us the Poll Tax, destroyed manufacturing industry, took us into an illegal war, and smothered us with “political correctness”.
Tried and tested?
Tried – Tested – Failed!
11 April 2010
UK GENERAL ELECTION - The Usual Farce
06 April 2010
UK GENERAL ELECTION
05 April 2010
Afghanistan
03 April 2010
YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT UP!
system which causes the CD-Rom not to function on the last day of any
moth which has 31 days. This should however have returned to normal
from the 1 April onwards.