Anyone for Gardening?

Oh to be in England now that Spring is here! Wait a minute, I am in England and the spring weather is a howling gale, snow drifts and temperatures below freezing.

What hope for my garden? Last summer was so terrible that large swathes of the country were actually under water for weeks on end. I suppose I was lucky where I live in that all I had to complain about was a collection of flower beds more suited to supporting fish than flowers.

The other day my wife decided to fill some pots with compost and insert some seedlings. She walked out of the greenhouse with a tray of plastic pots that immediately took flight to land in various parts of the garden. She gave up at that point.

The next day I put on about six layers of clothing and a hat to brave the elements, in the cause of tidying up the garden, picking up branches that had broken off the trees, and removing dead leaves and plants from flower beds. Since the abundance of moisture was in a semi-frozen state I didn't have to do too much wading. As fast as I placed dead material in my wheelbarrow it was blown out of it again. It should have been recorded on video so you could have all had a good laugh.

My mood was not good, and my time in the garden definitely lacked that therapeutic value that gardening is supposed to imbue. Imagine how much better I felt when my wife came out and drew my attention to our TV aerial and supporting pole spreadeagled across the roof, supported only by its cable. (Note to self: phone Ryedale Aerials!)

Last year's incessant rain caused so much saturation that stuff has been dying all over the place, and I don't hold out much hope for a decent looking garden this year. But then I'm lucky to have a garden at all, so shut up Beck!

As I look out of my window now watching the springtime snow falling I've made a decision to stay in the warm.

On the bright side, there are a few snowdrops and daffodils making an appearance.

It's still Winter like it used to be!

The whole of the UK is now in the grip of ice and snow.

In my part of North Yorkshire we had 8 inches of snow yesterday evening (on top of the of the 4 or 5 inches we already had).

Today all the schools were closed - a source of relief since, as a school transport driver, I doubt if I could have even got out of my road, let alone reach the outlying farms and villages on my run.

My neighbours and I have just spent a back-breaking two hours snow shovelling and salt spreading. Our road is now just about passable (until the next snow fall - forecast for today).

We seem to be breeding a society of idiots: I've been watching a news item on TV about young people in Newcastle determined to ignore the sub-zero weather conditions, snow and ice, and attend city night clubs for their usual bouts of binge drinking, drunken fights, street urination and vomiting.

What are the girls wearing as they stagger about the streets? High heels, miniskirts, and sleeveless tops. What are the boys wearing? Jeans and short-sleeved T-shirts. Moreover, there is a charitable organisation that makes a practice of touring the streets with the specific purpose of providing thermal blankets and hot drinks to save these guys from their own stupidity.

Another example of current society's madness was recently provided by the final TV episode of David Tennant's portrayal of Dr Who. His final moments saw him dying and metamorphosing in time-honoured fashion into the regenerated Dr Who (now to be played by Matt Smith). As the new Dr Who checked himself out - arms, legs, face, etc., he found everything in order, and also noted he was "not ginger".

Most people I suspect would find this amusing, but of course about 140 people apparently complained to the BBC about this shocking piece of anti-ginger prejudice! More people, I regret, with tiny brains, who are quite happy to turn their own kids into "victims".

Pathetic.

Happy New Year!

Winter like wot we used to 'ave.

Stone the crows! It's brass monkeys out there! My small fish pond has a layer of ice on it that's an inch thick. We haven't seen a winter like this for many a long year, and the country is ill prepared for it. That is the trouble with a proper winter coming upon you only once every few years - local authorities have no sound economic reason to invest in fleets of snow ploughs and mountains of road salt: it would all be sitting around in depots doing nothing.

Now, with the UK covered in snow and ice, Councils and the Highways Agency are running out of salt and grit, and are being selective in which roads they treat. Motorways and A roads are being looked after, but one wonders whether there is any point if one is unable to reach the major roads in the first place because the minor connecting roads are either impassable or ice rinks.

The other night in south Devon two hundred motorists were stranded in their cars for six hours, and people had to be taken to reception centres for food, warmth and sleep.

Then we come to the problem of accidents that shouldn't occur because they are caused by drivers who have had neither the experience nor the tuition for driving in ice and snow. They seem to expect their cars to behave in exactly the same way as they do under normal conditions.

Quite a winter we are having .. an ice cold economy in an ice cold climate.

On the day that London's buses all came to a halt last week, our capital city's eccentric mayor, Boris Johnson, was interviewed for TV and he said there was no reason why people should not make the effort to get into work, and if they couldn't, well - they could always work from home. So there you are, you lazy layabout teachers, nurses, doctors, surgeons, policemen, electricians, plumbers, utility workers, couriers, van and truck drivers .. you can work at home .. get stuck in!

Meanwhile the Bank of England is leaving those of us with a few quid in savings out in the freezing cold. The interest rate's been cut again - to 1 percent. What is this meant to achieve? Earlier cuts in interest achieved nothing, and I suspect this will achieve nothing. Do we now have to look forward to ZERO percent interest? I was interested to hear the other day that there are six times as many savers in the UK as there are borrowers. Our money is sitting around doing nothing for us, and people who rely on savings interest to live on are having a hard time.

I ventured out into the sub-zero climate this morning with a plastic bin liner, having made the rash promise at the height of summer to be "litter monitor" at the childrens' playground. The playground committee had most months covered by a rota of volunteers, but were lacking someone for the jolly month of February. So that's where yours truly steps into the breach.

I trudge down the frosty road to the playground, half fill my bag with plastic bottles, bits of paper and other assorted bits of rubbish thrown to the ground by half-wits that know no better and within 10 minutes I'm in the middle of another snow storm. So, it's back to the warmth of my house and a cup of coffee. I'll have another trudge down there with a plastic bag next Saturday. Something to look forward to.

June is rusting out all over.

The Full Waterproofs

This delightful picture of an under-water blogger is published in connection with a couple of recent posts: one relating to a canal boat holiday that was promising to be a washout (it wasn't) and the other relating to the exorbitant prices charged by some specialist shops for wet weather gear.

Two of my internet friends insisted on having sight of the full gear in use. Since the canal holiday was surprisingly free from torrential downpours I've had no reason to model this chic little outfit; until now, that is.

After a long, warm and dry spring, June has turned out to be depressingly cold, wet and windy, and last week the UK had to put up with severe weather leading to serious flash floods in many parts of the country. I had to put the full waterproofs into service just to put the bins out last Friday morning.

Today is overcast, with more rain promised for this afternoon, but I am at present being cheered up by the song of a thrush in full and enthusiastic voice in my back garden.