Blogmania

When I became "Blogger Beck" I decided that I wanted to avoid a single theme or mood. Instead, I would try to present a multi-faceted, eclectic mix of subjects and moods. The news at the moment is almost universally gloomy, be it the conflict between Israel and Lebanon, the discovery of a terrorist plot to blow up airliners in mid-Atlantic, or the fact that David Beckham has been dropped from the England Football Team by the new Coach Steve McLaren. Even worse - one of my socks has gone missing again.

I have always hoped that I could reach a readership that understood the meaning of words like multi-faceted and eclectic (if for no other reason that they might drop me a line to explain them to me). Obviously I've been pulling the wool over some people's eyes as I seem to have picked up a couple of readers who run Knitting blogs. They are generally complimentary, for which I am grateful, since they could so easily have just knit-picked my posts. The last time I looked at a knitting pattern it struck me as being a great deal more complicated than a page of HTML code, and possibly even more baffling than Javascript. I am full of admiration for anyone who can make sense of them (and that includes my dear wife).

Wondering how to lighten the mood, albeit for a short time, I was rooting through some old files on my computer and was pleased to come across a collection of slogans for car bumper stickers. (I believe for readers on the far side of the herring pond that should read "car fender stickers". I could be wrong: my position on U.S. English is still somewhere half way up the learning curve.) I have no idea where they came from, but I freely give acknowledgment and credit to whomsoever collected them in the first place. So, here are some of them, to lighten your day ...

• I love cats...they taste just like chicken
• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
• Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death
• Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
• As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools
• The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
• Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
• Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.
• Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep
• SAVE A TREE: Eat a beaver
• I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
• According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
• Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
• Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• He who laughs last thinks slowest
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
• Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
• Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
• Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
• i souport publik edekasion
• Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
• 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
• "Auntie Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking the dog." - Dorothy.
• "Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"

"i souport publik edekasion" is a familiar kind of language, because in recent weeks I have been subscribing to a community question-and-answer site called Yahoo! Answers, and there is a disturbingly high proportion of contributors who actually write like this. There are some very good questions covering complex subjects in politics, chemistry, physics, philosophy, etc., but a high proportion of questions are mind-blowingly dumb, such as, "Can I get pregnant by masturbating?" and "How can I get a girl to like me?"

It's all very reassuring because I can answer those questions.

Onward and upward - keep smiling!