21st Century Terminology in 20th Century Terms

Android			Mr Droid's wife
Apple			One a day keeps the doctor away
Apple Mackintosh			A raincoat with fruit in the pockets
Browser			Person having a look around
CapsLock			Strap securing headgear in windy weather
Cell Phone			Prison telephone
Chrome Browser			Hard person having a look around
Dashlane			Outside lane of a motorway or expressway
Encrypt			In the space underneath the church
Facebook			Optimum position for reading
Firefox Browser			Red-hot predator having a look around the hen house
Floppy			Male sexual malfunction
Font			See Username
Gay			Vivacious and jolly
Google			The number 1 followed by 100 zeros (Googol)
Hard drive			Uphill in a 1930s Austin 7
Home Key			Key to the front door
Instagram			Formerly known as a telegram
Internet			Location of a football when a goal is scored
Internet Explorer Browser			Someone looking for the football in the goal area
iOS			Isle of Sheppey
Messenger			The guy you shoot when you don't like the message
Microsoft Access			A miniature doorway with a padded frame
Microsoft Excel			Tiny example of being best but only by a whisper
Microsoft Word			A single-syllable word, spoken softly
Mobile Phone			Cell Phone that's been released from prison
Offline			Very windy washday
Online			Washday
OS			Ordance Survey
Paste			Gloopy stuff
PIN			Very small-diameter shaft with a point at one end
Snipping Tool			Scissors
Tweet			Small bird drawing attention to itself
Twitter			Communication between small birds
Username			Given next to the font in church during baptism
Wi-fi			A bit smelly
Windows			Something to let in the daylight
Windows Key			Device for locking a window
World Wide Web			Device for catching flies spun by an extraordinarily large spider
Yahoo			Rude & uncouth characters in Gulliver's Travels