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01 February 2016

21st Century Terminology in 20th Century Terms


Android


Mr Droid's wife






Apple


One a day keeps the doctor away




Apple Mackintosh

A raincoat with fruit in the pockets




Browser


Person having a look around





CapsLock


Strap securing headgear in windy weather



Cell Phone

Prison telephone






Chrome Browser

Hard person having a look around




Dashlane


Outside lane of a motorway or expressway



Encrypt


In the space underneath the church




Facebook


Optimum position for reading





Firefox Browser

Red-hot predator having a look around the hen house


Floppy


Male sexual malfunction





Font


See Username






Gay


Vivacious and jolly






Google


The number 1 followed by 100 zeros (Googol)



Hard drive

Uphill in a 1930s Austin 7





Home Key

Key to the front door





Instagram

Formerly known as a telegram





Internet


Location of a football when a goal is scored



Internet Explorer Browser
Someone looking for the football in the goal area



iOS


Isle of Sheppey






Messenger

The guy you shoot when you don't like the message


Microsoft Access

A miniature doorway with a padded frame



Microsoft Excel

Tiny example of being best but only by a whisper



Microsoft Word

A single-syllable word, spoken softly




Mobile Phone

Cell Phone that's been released from prison



Offline


Very windy washday





Online


Washday







OS


Ordance Survey






Paste


Gloopy stuff






PIN


Very small-diameter shaft with a point at one end



Snipping Tool

Scissors







Tweet


Small bird drawing attention to itself




Twitter


Communication between small birds




Username

Given next to the font in church during baptism



Wi-fi


A bit smelly






Windows


Something to let in the daylight




Windows Key

Device for locking a window





World Wide Web

Device for catching flies spun by an extraordinarily large spider

Yahoo


Rude & uncouth characters in Gulliver's Travels


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