Dreams

I never cease to be astonished by the machinations of the human brain whilst one is asleep.

Just in the past two days (or should I say nights?) I have invented both a new organisation and a new word.

Has anyone heard of the Mahogany Royal Specialist Group?

No? My brain just made it up then.

I also got on a train, sat next to the driver (wow - that's cool!) and as he pulled out of the station I advised him in some panic that this was where I was meant to get off. (Bear in mind, I'd only just got on!) To which he replied, "Don't worry - I've switched off the PROCTO so you'll be at the next station sooner than expected!"

Any of you heard of a PROCTO? No, I didn't think so.

Looking forward to my next burst of creativity.

Northern Ireland

I see the wild animals of east Belfast have returned to the Dark Ages again.

When will we be rid of these idiots with their religious prejudices and predeliction for violence?

I have visited the Irish Republic, but I have vowed never to set foot on the soil of Northern Ireland whilst it remains so embedded in the past. Stones, bricks, bottles, petrol bombs and bullets have no place in a civilized society.

Does Northern Ireland really have to be part of the UK?!

Sarah Palin and soul of the Republican Party

Dissension in the Republican ranks!

Now that Mitt Romney of Boston, Massachusetts has declared his intention of running for the Republican nomination as Presidential Candidate for the next US Presidential Election, the disturbingly attractive but totally goofy "Tea Party" Republican Sarah Palin has stated that Mitt Romney is a traitor to the Party because when he was Governer of Massachesetts he gave health care to the poor.

Shock, horror!

I think that tells us something we need to know about the mind set of Mitt Romney, and it tells us all we need to know about Sarah Palin.

The End of the World is Nigh ..

Nigh on impossible to predict, that is!

The idiotic Mr Camping predicting that the end of the world would take place last Saturday, 21st May 2011 was a sad business. Even sadder was the fact that so many people were prepared to believe him.

Apparently some people gave money away .. one might ask how that would benefit anyone with the world gone up in smoke .. and others decided to take a quick holiday, just in case.

I am advised by a friend who knows more about what the Bible says than I do, that there is a verse that states no one will know the time of the Day of Judgement.

For the whole of my life (well, not quite the whole of it, since I am still here) people have been predicting the end of the world. When I was young I tended to believe these predictions, and I was mightily frightened, I don't mind telling you. But then I grew up and started to use my brain a bit more - unlike some of these religious nuts.

Referendum on Electoral Reform 5th May 2011

It's a great shame that what should have been a sensible and apolitical debate on the pros and cons of "First past the post" versus "Alternative Vote" has degenerated into a slanging match between Party politicians.

Both sides have been economical with the truth, and some have been telling downright lies, repeatedly, using the Goebbels principle that if you tell a lie frequently enough it eventually becomes the accepted truth.

This is far more important for the future democracy of our country than which politician supports which system, and whether or not we like that politician. If you are voting YES because you don't like David Cameron, or if you are voting NO because you don't like Nick Clegg, you are totally missing the point.

It's about whether the existing voting system is democratic and allows you to have a greater say in who becomes our representative in Parliament. Is it right that 70% of the MPs currently in the House of Commons are there with the support of a MINORITY of their voters? Is it right that nearly every Government (if not all) since the 2nd World War have imposed their ideologies upon the country with less than half the country supporting them? What kind of democracy is that?

"AV" is far from perfect, but at least it does two important things: it retains the constituency link with a single MP, and it ensures that no MP is elected without the support of at least half the voters. What is bad about that?

The current system was just about defensible in the middle of the 20th century, when people were pretty much voting either for the Great Blue Tribe or the Great Red Tribe. Today's politics are more fluid, and we are no longer slavishly devoted to one of two Great Tribes.

So, I am saying YES to change on 5th May and would urge all who have not yet made up their mind to take this (probably) once in a generation opportunity to take a small step forward. Ignore all this talk of excessive cost, electronic counting machines, and so on. It's already been stated in a Parliamentary Answer that the cost of running either of the two systems are not that different, and there are no plans to use electronic counting machines.

Another myth put about is that you are obliged to place all candidates in order of preference. You have no such obligation. If you wish to cast a vote for only one candidate, and you think all the others are appalling then you just place a '1' against your candidate. Easy as 1,2,3 (or just 1 in your case!)

Vote YES to change.

Royal Wedding - Enough Already!

This has appeared on a souvenir tea towel.

Best place for it, if you ask me, especially when this dysfunctional family is all washed up.

Apparently the Palace authorities have declined to authorise its use

.

I'm sick of hearing about this Royal Wedding. I'm bored, bored, bored.

That we, as a 21st century democracy, should have a Head of State (and extended Royal Family) chosen by accident of birth is, frankly, preposterous!

Their ancestors reached their positions of power by plunder, pillage and patronage. Now half the population goes all gooey-eyed over their present-day descendents.

I'm not saying some of the lesser members of this weird family has not done some good over the years in terms of support for worthy Charities, but they could have done that anyway without enjoying their exalted position achieved by accident.

Already I can hear people bleeting about their value as a tourist attraction; the pomp, the ceremony, the Changing of the Guard, Trooping the Colour, and so on. And "The Queen, God bless her - such a lovely lady, and doesn't she work hard?!" I don't doubt it - but - suppose she wasn't, and didn't?

The sooner we abandon this lunacy the better. I'm sure that if we had an elected Head of State, like other civilized democracies, the Grenadier Guards and all those other guys in red coats and furry hats would still be able to put on just as good a show for the tourists.

The only good thing about this wedding is we get an extra day off. Hooray!

Devastation, Confusion, Overheating, Meltdown ..

Devastation, Confusion, Overheating, Meltdown .. AND THAT'S JUST MY BRAIN.

Where is God?

What is God?

Did God make Man or did Man make God?

And are these questions about anyone (or anything) that actually exists?

A very good friend has tried to reassure me: "God exists, He really does."

If I say "God doesn't exist, He really doesn't", which of us can be proved right?

Hurrican Katrina, Indonesian tsunami, Chilean earthquake, Chinese earthquake, New Zealand earthqake, and now the Japanese tsunami .. if God made our World, one can be led to a number of possible conclusions:

1. He (She or It) doesn't exist therefore He (She or It) didn't.

2. If He (She or It) does exist, then it wasn't a 6-day job - it's work still in progress.

3. He (She or It) designed the world deliberately as a very dangerous place on which to exist.

Conclusions 2 and 3 are backed up by the existence of harmful bacteria, viruses, and parasites that have led to thousands of years of disease and suffering.

To those who say all this death and destruction is part of a mysterious Plan, and brings forth occasional miracles like an unexpected survival (often hailed as an answer to prayers), I ask, what about all those who didn't survive who were also the subject of prayer?

It's a bit like me driving up to your house in the middle of the night with a bulldozer and flattening your property, then jumping out of the driving seat to pull one of you from the wreckage and calling the emergency services. This would be followed by my being hailed as a saviour, conveniently ignoring the fact that I had destroyed your house in the first place.

Does anyone have the means of cooling down my rapidly overheating brain?

Cigarettes are going under the counter. Good thing!

Renouncing Nicotine

The UK Government has announced plans to prevent the visible display of cigarettes in shops. It got me thinking about my own battle several years ago to renounce nicotine.

I was, like many other people relieving stress by smoking large quantities of cigarettes. I had not at that time realised that smoking does not really induce relaxation. The reality is that the perceived pleasure (or relaxation) gained by lighting up is merely the addicted body’s craving for nicotine being satisfied.

How often do you hear the cry, “I get pleasure from smoking”. Of course you do: relieving an addiction can’t be anything else but a "pleasure"!

Like any other smoker I was immune to such argument: the craving goes beyond the bounds of logical argument. I can't stop my son smoking because he is, like all addicts, in denial. As far as he is concerned there are no health problems associated with smoking.

Like any other smoker I was prepared to divert large proportions of my monthly income into the purchase of cigarettes, and each time the Chancellor of the Exchequer increased the tax we moaned a bit but carried on buying the things anyway.

In the mid-1970s we were all aware that smoking was bad for our health, but again, addiction goes beyond accepting the logical conclusion that we should ditch the habit. I was no exception, and the arguments regarding my health went right over my head; I was not going to be one of those who got hardened arteries, heart disease or lung cancer.

Nevertheless, I did give up smoking, and the reasons were purely financial.

After several months of trying to make ends meet and collecting a nice little pile of unpaid bills, withdrawal of my monthly petrol credit account by the local garage, and a number of red notices for unpaid utility bills, I began to realise that I needed more cash. Since more cash from my employers would not be forthcoming (until or unless I got more promotion) my only option was to give up the habit.

I remembered that my father had once been a chain smoker, living in a perpetual haze of smoke. One day he decided to give it up.

Did he receive counselling? No.

Did he use nicotine patches? No.

Did he use nicotine chewing gum? No.

Did he use dummy cigarettes dispensing nicotine? No.

None of these things was available then. One day he was a chain smoker, the next day he was a non-smoker. From that day he never touched another cigarette for the rest of his life. He could not even be persuaded to have a cigar after dinner on Christmas Day.

(My mother, who had already given up smoking, used to keep a cigarette in her dressing table drawer for Christmas Day. The family used to look forward to Mother's Christmas spectacle of her 12-month old cigarette going up in flames as soon as she lit it.)

I thought if my father could kick the habit, so could I. Well, I did, but not quite as impressively as he did. It took many months. I started to cut down on the amount I smoked each day. Then came the day when I bought no further cigarettes, but I was smoking other peoples: each time I attended a work meeting or a social gathering, and someone offered me a cigarette, I took it, knowing full well that I would at no stage be in a position to reciprocate.

I persuaded myself pipe smoking was less harmful and so bought a pipe. Naturally this meant I had to fill my jacket pockets with all the accoutrements - a box of matches or a lighter with the delivery of a blow-torch, tobacco pouch, pipe cleaners, a tool for scraping out carbon deposits, and of course the pipe itself. My appearance became somewhat lumpy.

Then there is the procedure - stuff the tobacco into the bowl of the pipe, compress it to just the right consistency with your finger or thumb, get the blow-torch going and draw deeply on the pipe as you apply the flame and wait for the big cloud of smoke and the people nearby coughing and waving their arms about, indicating successful combustion. Then, after some contented puffs and rejoicing in how important and distinguished you look, either the pipe goes out or you find yourself sucking in some foul tasting liquid accompanied by bubbling noises, indicating the need to embark on one of the many pipe servicing schedules.

Servicing could be carried on in the middle of management meetings, turning the pipe bowl upside down and banging it loudly on a big ashtray, interrupting someone’s important contribution to the meeting. The mouthpiece could be pulled off to facilitate the drainage of stinking black liquor into the ashtray, then a pipe cleaner could be pushed back and forth through both sections of the pipe, and the de-coking tool scraped around the inside the pipe bowl.

It occurred to me after a few months of this that it was all faintly ridiculous. Moreover, carrying all this stuff around in addition to a wallet and a pocketful of money was ruining my suits and jackets. So I threw the whole lot away and started buying tins of small cigars, again convincing myself that cigars were less harmful and less addictive than cigarettes.

The financial problems were easing, but here I was, still spending money on rolls of leaves to be stuffed into my mouth and set alight, so I made the decision that I would smoke just one cigar a week, after Sunday lunch. This was the pattern that continued right up until just after the millennium, when a series of bronchitis attacks stopped me smoking completely.

The interesting thing about giving up the cigarettes was that, even when I was on a pipe, and then cigars, I began to find the smell of cigarette smoke extremely offensive, and this certainly helped me in my resolve never to go back to them. I also began to notice how the appearance of cigarette smokers differed from non-smokers - something about the skin quality, particularly around the area of the eyes. Then there were also the tell-tale signs of yellow fingers and, with grey-haired people, the yellow tinge imparted to that part of the hair nearest the face. The voice quality was also different, and the noise of the breathing, (not to mention the smell of the breathing) and of course the occasional wheezy cough. I noticed I was able to recognise smokers and non-smokers whether or not cigarettes were on display.

By the time I had reached the one cigar per week stage I was confidently calling myself a “non-smoker”, though I had frequent arguments with my wife about this as she insisted that obviously I was still a “smoker”. I gained strength for my argument from the fact that my doctor had now amended my medical records to state that I was indeed a “non-smoker”. Firstly he stated that on one cigar per week, the effects on my health were likely to be so negligible as to be equivalent to not smoking at all and secondly, because his computer system recorded smoking on the basis of x number of cigarettes/cigars per day, in my case he would have to enter 0.14 per day, and on his computer this was returned as a big fat zero! (I suspect this was his real reason for calling me a "non-smoker"). Things have changed again, now. Those of us who have renounced the habit are recorded as ex-smokers.

What is significant, however, is the fact that my health improved and so did my bank balance. I've never regretted giving it up. I've never missed it. And when I meet asthmatics who are still smoking I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Can there by anything more ludicrous than a person with a breathing affliction deliberately sucking smoke into their lungs?!

Electoral Reform - Another Gem from the "No" Campaign

The other day Prime Minister David Cameron (who, unlike his Liberal Democrat Coalition partner and Deputy Nick Clegg, is against scrapping the "first-past-the-post" system) came out with the astonishing claim that, had last year's General Election been held under the Alternative Vote system it would have produced another five years of a Gordon Brown Labour Government!

Does Cameron have psychic powers? In order to make such a claim he would need to know what every voter's second and third (and fourth?) preferences would have been if the election had been held under the Alternative Vote system.

This is just another example of the pathetic attempts by the NO campaigners we can expect to see over the coming weeks to persuade us to hold on to a system that returns two thirds of our MPs to Parliament on less than 50% support of their constituents.

An Erudite View on Religious Extremism

Click here for a thought-provoking (and sometimes amusing) view on the darker side of religious fanaticism.

Voting Reform - The NO Campaigners Show Themselves

I wondered where they were hiding, but the "NO" campaigners have come out from under their stone at last, indicating their likely tactics in persuading us to stick with the existing "First past the Post" system.

Here are their key ideas: the Alternative Vote is more complicated; the Alternative Vote is more expensive; the Alternative Vote is likely to deliver more Coalition Governments.

Notice that the words democracy and democratic don't feature in any of this. That's no surprise because there is no argument in this world that can convince any right-minded person that a system delivering Members of Parliament representing a minority of their constituents (sometimes for life) is democratic.

On the issue of other systems being more complicated, are we not sufficiently intelligent to be able to cope? How on earth do the rest of Europe manage to handle it? Leaving aside the possible fact that they have clearer heads because they don't binge-drink like the British, I still think we can summon up sufficient intellectual capacity to deal with a slightly less simple method of voting and counting.

As for the cost, well we could make the thing a whole lot cheaper by abolishing elections. (Last time I looked, that was called a Dictatorship). Come to think of it, perhaps that's why 40% of our population don't bother to vote anyway, because they do not see it delivering anything relevant to their own ideas.

The "NO" campaigners are going to have to rely entirely upon fear and negativity in order to persuade us that it is better to accept the devil we know rather than the one we don't.

They should return to the primeval swamp from whence they came, in which inertia is the best method of survival, leaving the rest of us with brains to pursue our legitimate demand for more democracy. OK, some will argue that the "Alternative Vote" is not fully democratic, but from little acorns grow mighty oak trees.

More power to the "YES" Campaign!

Balls Up?

When Ed Milliband became Leader of the British Labour Party (in Opposition) not so long ago, he avoided giving the post of Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer to the man thought most likely to be in the running for it, namely Ed Balls. It was rumoured that there was no love lost between them.

Instead he appointed Alan Johnson, a man with no particular financial credentials, and yet was someone who represented what is increasingly a rarity in British politics, i.e., a politician with the common touch who had once had a real job (he started out as a postal worker) before he entered politics. He was likeable and had a good sense of humour. Interviewed soon after his appointment as Shadow Chancellor, he told reporters that he would be busy reading his Economics Primer.

Now, sadly Alan Johnson is the victim of a failed marriage brought to a head by an affair between his wife and his police bodyguard, of all people! He felt the need to tender his resignation as Shadow Chancellor because of his domestic difficulties.

Now Ed Milliband has fallen back on Ed Balls to take this post. He is not a particularly likeable character, hugely ambitious, has a reputation for bullying (I wouldn't be surprised if he was a victim of bullying at school with a name like that), and more significantly was closely associated with Gordon Brown's failed economic management in the final two years of the last Labour Government.

It remains to be seen whether two Eds are better than one.

Tea Party - Does America deserve these people?

It was reported in the New York Times today that, in their final days controlling the House, Democrats succeeded in passing legislation that Tea Party leaders opposed, including a bill to cover the cost of medical care for rescue workers at the site of the World Trade Center attacks, an arms-control treaty with Russia, a food safety bill and a repeal of the ban on gay men and lesbians serving openly in the military.

Tea Party rank and file are reportedly very angry that Republicans have done nothing to stop this outrageous activity.

That would be a terrible thing, wouldn't it? - Helping with medical care for those brave rescue workers at the "Twin Towers" tragedy?

And we don't want an arms control treaty with Russia do we? Let's keep on ramping up the tension.

As for food, we only depend upon it to stay alive, don't we, so what does it matter if it contains poisons?

And the Military (anywhere) has included homosexuals since time immemorial, so what's the point of pretending they don't exist? Why are they a problem to the Tea Party nuts?

Surveys suggest that about 1.5% of the American population is homosexual, and in World War II sixteen million American service men and women were involved. Some of those must have been homosexual - perhaps 240,000 of them? As I recall, they were on the winning side.

Christmas

Whilst taking the opportunity to wish my half dozen readers a very happy Christmas, I'm also minded to pose the question, what's it all about?

Silly question? Well it seems to be different things to different people. To some it's clearly a celebration of the "virgin birth" of Jesus Christ and it sits at the heart of the meaning of Christianity. To others it's an excuse for eating and drinking more than it's good for them.

For both groups there are, of course, the exchange of gifts.

Yesterday I was reading about Tony Jordan, the award-winning script writer, who was commissioned to write the story of the Nativity, to be shown on BBC television in four half-hour episodes leading up to Christmas. It was of particular interest because Tony Jordan is known for having written 200 scripts for the popular Soap, Eastenders, and other well-known TV series.

It was even more interesting to learn that when he started the task of dramatising the Nativity he was a non-believer in the whole story, but by the time he finished his extensive research, using the Bible, miscellaneous history books, talking to theologians, and even talking to NASA about the "star over Bethlehem", he became a believer.

On a personal note, I was struck by his thoughts about religion, which coincide exactly with mine. In his interview with a Daily Telegraph journalist he said this (and I'm taking this as my quotation of the year!) ..

"I have a distaste for organised religions, because they tamper with stories, add a bit here, take a bit off there, and then start killing each other because the other one doesn't agree. The only thing I know for sure is that the words I read as coming from Jesus Christ are the most truthful things I have ever heard. As a blueprint for mankind, it is so smart that it couldn't even have come from a clever philosopher. Who would have been smart enough to say 'He who is without sin cast the first stone'? That's pretty cool. I have a distaste for people who say to me if you come through these church doors, walk down this aisle, sit on that wooden bench, and sing these hymns in this order, I have got God in a little bottle under my pulpit and I'll let you have a look. I don't think that was God's intention".

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Given up on Maxpages. Switched to BT

The sudden disappearance of Maxpages continues to be a complete mystery, and nobody has been able to come up with any information. I thank those who have tried to find out what has been happening. I have concluded that the outfit went bust, and that's that.

Meanwhile I created a new website for the local firm I'm working for, using BT as the website hosting company. So, if you want minibus or private taxi hire in the Ryedale area of North Yorkshire you can now confidently call up http://www.botterills.org.uk for the information you need.

Maxpages now seem to be "Minpages"

I cannot pretend that the three or four people who read this Blog will know what the hell I'm talking about when I mention "Maxpages".

http://maxpages.com is (was?) a web hosting company. They made creating and maintaining a website easy: you just did it online using their own templates and design tools (pretty much like this blog setup I guess).

For my sins I am the "Webmaster" for a local family business running taxi and minibus services, with whom I have a part-time job. Now this business is well run by good people who don't deserve to be lumbered with a Website that suddenly goes off the radar for no apparent reason or explanation. This happened two or three weeks ago, and they now have vehicles running about the place proudly displaying their Web address in large letters, and if a potential client tries to call up that address, then all that comes up is the dreaded "Page not found" message.

An outfit called www.aboutus.org that indexes and audits websites around the world reports that Maxpages is no longer a working website; it has been flagged as "broken" by the AboutUs community.

Because this was an online web design facility we do not have the HTML files that make up our website, and so I'm faced with the prospect of starting all over again, (fortunately I now possess a Web Designer program) building up a new website from scratch. Then there is the small matter of finding a new hosting company, and the means of getting our Domain Name pointing in the new direction. It's all highly frustrating and not a little complicated for this particular amateur.

Does anyone out their actually know what has happened to Maxpages?

Obama a Socialist? I don't think so!

The rise and rise of the "Tea Party" movement in America is hard to understand. It appears to be as mad as a cabbage. Is it something written by Lewis Caroll? Is it the Mad Hatter's Tea Party?

Straight away I have to apologise for using pejorative terminology, because this is what seems to be contaminating political debate in the States. As Jon Stewart said at the recent rally in Washington, if you amplify everything you hear nothing.

I have heard members of the "Tea Party" movement interviewed on BBC Television say that President Obama is working towards a Socialist government. What nonsense! Can you imagine the words Socialism and USA in the same sentence?

One is tempted to ask, what is inherently wrong with Socialism anyway? Capitalism has done spectacularly well in the past couple of years, hasn't it?! It's a mistake, by the way, to confuse Social Democracy (which is probably about as "Left" as the USA will ever get) with Communism, and some people in the "Tea Party" movement don't seem able to understand the difference. The important word to understand is Democracy of course. If a majority decide via the ballot box for one system or another, then there can be no complaints.

The outcome of the mid-term elections should, one hopes, be based on reasoned debate rather than name-calling and simplistic exaggerations.

What is the "Tea Party" Movement? On BBC TV news this morning, one American described it as "George Bush on Steroids".

Oops! There I go again. Sorry.

Asinine Announcements

Travelling on South West Trains recently between London Waterloo and Teddington I was struck by how irritating are the repeated automated on-board announcements.

The more I listened to them the more I thought the number of words could be significantly reduced.

In measured tones (delivered by a prissy sounding female throw-back to 1940s BBC announcers) we get ..

“The next station is Norbiton. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform edge.”

Sixteen words! Let’s start wielding the axe ..

“Next stop Norbiton. Please mind the gap between the train and the platform edge.”

Fourteen words. But wait a minute; this is a public safety announcement, not a polite invitation. We can dispense with polite niceties ..

“Next stop Norbiton. Mind the gap between the train and the platform edge.”

Thirteen words. But wait a minute; where else would the gap be but between the train and the edge of the platform .. between the train and the platform roof? (There may be such a gap, but it doesn’t have to concern us.)

“Next stop Norbiton. Mind the gap between the train and the platform”.

Twelve words. But wait a minute; where else would there be a gap that we have to mind (apart from between the ears of the person who wrote these announcements)?

“Next stop Norbiton. Mind the gap.”

Six words. But wait a minute; we know there is going to be gap, because without it there’d be a nasty scraping noise as the train pulled into the station. People tend to aim for a solid surface rather than a gaping void when alighting from a train.

“Next stop Norbiton.”

Three words. There you go! – an 81% reduction in verbiage and we have all the information we need.

South West Trains take note.

Stupid Signs

Why do the numpties of the Highways Department think it is necessary to place these signs?!

Obviously it has escaped their notice that if you are driving a car along a road, then the actual road ahead is pretty much in your field of vision.

This being the case, the absence of road markings tends to be self-evident.

If the road is not in your field of vision I venture to suggest you should not be driving.

Similarly, if you read this notice, and then see road markings, then you might be hallucinating, in which case it's time to hang up your driving gloves.

Fortunately for you, however, it is usually the case that you are seeing the road markings because, having painted them on the road, the highways people have gone away forever and forgotten to take the sign with them.

Return of Common Sense

Internet jokes about the death of common sense have been flying around in recent years, but I am heartened by a couple of recent announcements by the UK's new Liberal Democrat-Conservative Coalition Government.

The first relates to the over-zealous use of (often imaginary) Health & Safety Regulations by Local Authority officials to ban all sorts of enjoyable and traditional activities in the interests of health and safety, and the fear of compensation claims. Children's games (such as Conkers) have been banned without protective gear, traditional and slightly mad activities like pancake races and cheese rolling have been banned.

The Government is now making a plea for the return of Common Sense, and requires Local Authorities to make out a written case for banning anything under Health & Safety Regulations, and gives local communities the right to challenge any such ban. They also want a reduction in TV adverts for "no-win, no fee" legal services and a reduction in the so-called Compensation Culture.

The second piece of good news is that regulations preventing school teachers from physically restraining a child, or from offering physical comfort to a distressed child have been scrapped. Thank heavens that piece of nonsense has gone.