It was clear, straw coloured, and contained a selection of seeds, a cinnamon stick and a couple of small red chillies. It provoked much discussion around our Christmas Dinner table about its properties. It was necessary to experiment, in which context I sent an e-mail to my nephew thanking him for his gift, explaining that thanks to him I had ..
- successfully de-iced my front garden path;
- dabbed some behind my ears (which didn't make me any more attractive to women) but did keep the flies away;
- destroyed a couple of wasps nests;
- cleaned all the brass and silver in my house;
- removed some unwanted pubic hair;
- run my car on it at illegal speeds.
It had then occurred to me that we were supposed to drink it. My son successfully set it alight, suggesting alcoholic content, then drank some. This provoked a stream of somewhat unseasonal profanities.
I followed up with some of my own bravado and took a swig, as a consequence of which my trousers fell down, my ears started revolving, and I swallowed my tongue.
I hope to be free of the oxygen cylinder within a couple of weeks.
Happy New Year!!
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