New Speaker of the House of Commons

Just when we were slowly being conned into believing that the Conservative Party had ceased to be "The Nasty Party" the shits have come out of the woodwork again following the overwhelming election of the excellent John Bercow MP (left) as Speaker of the House of Commons.

There are rumbles and rumours that most of the Conservative MPs were firmly against the election of this particular Conservative MP as the new Speaker. Worse still they are already talking about a campaign to remove him if and when (though they say "when") they have a Parliamentary majority after the next General Election.

So what is their problem? Well, Bercow used to have quite right-wing views when he was first elected to Parliament for the Conservative Party, but over the years he has moderated his views considerably, to the extent that his colleagues think he would be more suited as a Member of the Labour Party.

They are now miffed that his election to the (non-party-political) post of Speaker, soundly beating the nine other candidates, could only have been achieved by the combined efforts of the Labour and Liberal Democrat MPs who rightly saw him as a committed reformer.

It is disgusting that the Conservatives cannot bring themselves to accept the results of a free, secret, and cross-party vote for the most important post in the House of Commons.

Recently I have been wearing rose-tinted glasses when looking at David Cameron and his team, but (1) their opposition to reform of our electoral system, and (2) this latest show of bad feeling against John Bercow have restored my eyesight to its former state.

http://bbc.co.uk/i/lg9jz/?t=1h01m22s

Speaker of the House of Commons

Continuing my theme of Electoral Reform, today, as a result of the enforced resignation of Michael Martin as Speaker of the House of Commons, the House is electing a new Speaker by secret ballot.

Not only is the secret ballot for this Post a new and welcome innovation to the proceedings of the House, but I am struck by the fact that the successful candidate must received more than 50% of the votes cast. At the time of writing this has already led to the initiation of a second ballot, as the candidate with the largest number of votes (John Bercow) nevertheless did not achieve the 50% rule.

Is it asking too much for the voting system used in our General Elections to be reformed in a similar way? Why should our MPs be elected even when they command well less than 50% support just because their votes might have beaten the next highest by a few votes?

Electoral Reform & the Conservative Party

Having almost reached a point where I might have considered voting Conservative at the next General Election I read in today's papers that they are opposed to reform of the voting system.

So long as they are content with MPs being elected on a minority vote I shall not support the Conservative Party, since it cannot claim to be democratic. "First-past-the-post" has served both them and the Labour Party well over the years, and I see the Conservatives' opposition to change as being entirely self-serving. I am not asking for full-blown PR with Party Lists. A simple one MP per constituency is fine, so long he or she represents more than 50% of the vote. We all know there are ways of achieving this.

Conservatives .. please wake up to the basic idea of democracy.

This makes me angry when politicians are supposedly wondering why people are disenchanted with politics.

BNP - Bigots and Nutters Party

A lady in the north west of England was interviewed in the street yesterday and asked how she voted at last week's European Elections. She said, "BNP - I'm ashamed to say". It was a protest vote.

My own region (Yorkshire & Humber) returned one BNP Member of the European Parliament, making a total of two from the UK.

Only 34% of the electorate bothered to vote, and only 6% of those voted BNP. So this Party actually represents about 2% of the population eligible to vote. It's good to put them into a proper perspective.

I loathe the BNP in all its manifestations, and have nothing but contempt for all those who support them with their politics of fear and hate.

The Government has a lot to answer for in making a complete hash of their immigration policies which have encouraged the bigots to inflame feelings.

A feeling that illegal immigration is out of control masks the fact that some immigration is (and has always been) socially and economically beneficial to the UK, and also blurs the distinction between legal immigrants and asylum seekers.

Unless Labour, Tory and Liberal Democrat politicians get to grips with this, then the BNP will pick up votes.

We have to be encouraged by the fact that 98% of British people aren't falling for their particular brand of garbage. Some say we should just laugh at them. I'm trying, but it's difficult.

Open Letter to David Cameron

Dear Mr Cameron,

Even before the Daily Telegraph blew our political system out of the water I had come to the uncomfortable conclusion that, for the first time in my life, I had no idea how I would vote at the next General Election. I had even contemplated not voting at all.

Having spent my life enthusiastically opposing the Conservative Party in all its manifestations by supporting the Liberal Party, the SDP, the SDP-Liberal Alliance, and “New” Labour, I now find myself in the unusual position of calling for “Two cheers for David Cameron!”

I award you “one cheer” for your quick and strong response to the recently-exposed wrong-doings of Members of Parliament, in particular to those of your own Party who have been found wanting.

I award you the “second cheer” for your public commitment to widespread reforms of our parliamentary system.

This is far as I can go, however, because everything you are now calling for will come to nought until or unless you accept the need for a democratic voting system. It is manifestly obvious that in any constituency election involving more than two candidates the “first-past-the-post” voting system is undemocratic. And yet ever since I have been old enough to vote (50 years) I have listened with increasing despair to politicians like yourself making statements like (1)“Our system provides strong government” and  (2)“Our system has served us very well”.

On the first, “strong government” is not necessarily democratic government, and on the second, what you and your colleagues mean is that the system has served you very well!

Although it is clear that the general public’s growing apathy and cynicism towards the political process has been increased by the current expenses revelations, I would ask you to consider the possibility that we have become heartily disillusioned with the whole process because, for the most part, our votes count for nothing, and even when they do, the results are not really democratic.

A system that can elect an MP with less than half the votes cast can in no way be described as democratic. I am not arguing for Proportional Representation, with all the disadvantages that it brings with Party Lists and so on, but merely a system that ensures that the person elected in each constituency commands a real majority; there are a number of ways this can be done as you know, and I don’t need to rehearse them here.

How is it possible to defend a process whereby Candidate A might receive 20,000 votes, Candidate B might receive 19,980 votes, Candidate C might receive 19,500 votes, which then results in Candidate A becoming the duly elected Member?

This charade of a voting system, and the frustration born out of being subjected to government after government after government with large majorities in the House of Commons, but commanding the electoral support of well under half the voting population, and the common knowledge that governments stand or fall on the say-so of a couple of dozen marginal constituencies, all provides an unsavoury mix of cynicism and apathy.

The day on which you publicly acknowledge these truths and commit yourself and your Party to doing something about it could be the day on which I decide – for the first time in 50 years – to vote Conservative.

I hope I can look forward to being able to award you your “third cheer”.

With best wishes,

Lionel Beck.

Ryedale Constituency – (whose Conservative MP has claimed £500 of our money for pot plants and bushes at his London home before selling up for £280,000 profit. I hope he is also grateful for my contribution towards his matches and firelighters, bags of compost, a trellis and plant food, not to mention cups and saucers, a lavatory brush and a casserole dish.)

The US Republican Party

It would appear that the soul of the recently defeated Republican Party is now been fought over between Colin Powell and Dick Cheney.

From my side of the herring pond I feel bound to pray that the soul of what's left of George Bush's legacy is kept well out of the hands of Cheney.

Powell is a fundamentally decent man. No wonder one or two right-wing bigots have wondered if he is still a Republican.

Don't get me started on Cheney ..

The Party's over!

Thanks to the Freedom of Information Act all the juicy details of our MPs expenses and allowances were due to be exposed next month, but thanks to the Daily Telegraph's ability to get their hands on the details in advance we have now been treated to several days of gory details, firstly those relating to the Government, from the Prime Minister downwards and through all his Cabinet members, and now it's the Conservative Party's turn to be blown out of the water in today's Telegraph.

We have seen how thousands and thousands of taxpayers' pounds have been expropriated under the stupidly lax system of expense allowances for such things as gardening, patio furniture, mock Tudor beams, items of clothing and toiletries, cleaning services, soft furnishings, kitchen appliances, plumbing work, electrical re-wiring, toilet seats, and so on and so on. Assistance with mortgages are given on second homes. Nobody denies the need for second homes when an MP's constituency is several hundred miles from London, but many of these MPs who have second homes turn out to be living within easy commuting distance of Westminster.

Many MPs have been getting second homes improved and enhanced at taxpayers' expense and then selling them in order to buy yet another one and start the process all over again.

The sickening thing is that a good deal of this has been achieved withing the "Rules" and so it is patently obvious that the rules need re-writing and overseen by a totally independent body.

Barbary Follett - a Labour MP - claimed £25,000 p.a. for personal security. She was told by the officials who vet these claims that it might look a bit odd if it became public, but allowed it anyway. Now it has been made public, and yes - it looks a bit odd. Follett claims she doesn't feel safe living in Soho. Well, nobody made her live in Soho! And in any case, if she wants personal security she is married to a multi-millionaire husband - author Ken Follett - and so should be able to afford her own damned security!

The public at large is getting hugely angry by all these revelations about snouts in the trough. And so far it has been made obvious that they are both Labour and Conservative snouts. It remains to be seem whether the Liberal Democrats turn out to be any less pig-like.

I'm guessing - even hoping - that at the forthcoming local and European Parliament elections voters will make a special point of voting for anyone other than the Parties currently wallowing in pig swill. At the same time I hope that such a feeling will not lead to people voting for extremist parties like the BNP. That would not achieve anything useful.

It is a shame that those MPs who are honest and are claiming only what is fair to claim will be tarred by the same brush.

I think that Parliament should be dissolved and we should start all over again with a snap General Election. The public could then make a point of not voting for those greedy and (sometimes) fraudulent MPs and put them out to pasture.

There was a nice Matt cartoon in the Telegraph the other day: two MPs walking together outside Parliament, and one says to the other, "I went into Politics to improve my living room".

More on "New Labour" .. some credit?

Yesterday I was pretty churlish about the present Labour Government, and I do not detract from anything I said. But in my enthusiasm to criticise I had forgotten that there have been two or three good aspects to the Labour era.

Looking back at a number of governments and Prime Ministers it seems to me that each one can only be remembered favourably on one or two counts, whilst everything else they did was either neutral or negative in effect. For example, Winston Churchill was a great war leader, and his ability to inspire not just us, but those who were persuaded to join the fight against the German Nazis, cannot be disputed. And yet his record as a peace-time Prime Minister was distinctly underwhelming.

The Post-war Labour government of Clement Attlee can be remembered with pride for the creation of the National Health Service. It is still with us, and God help anyone who has the temerity to suggest that it should be dismantled.

The Conservative Administration of Margaret Thatcher or (as the late great Clement Freud called her) Attila the Hen can be remembered as the government that destroyed the tyranny of the Trade Unions and democratized them. Having done that she might as well have packed her bags, because in my opinion she did nothing else memorable except to cause misery and divisiveness: she was an arrogant, self-opinionated fanatic who (together with her buddy Ronal Reagan) sowed the seeds for the financial disaster that we are now experiencing.

Some governments are memorable for having nothing good to be memorable for, such as the Conservative Administrations of Ted Heath and John Major, and the Labour Administrations of Harold Wilson and James Callaghan.

And so we come to our present Labour Government: yes, they have done one or two good things and should be given credit. One was the National Minimum Wage, something the Conservatives fought tooth and nail against and would never have introduced such a thing. Another was devolution to Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland (though only 8 our 10 for this because there was no devolution for England). Then there have been the annual Winter Fuel Payments for senior citizens, and also free bus travel for them, again a couple of measures the Tories would never have introduced.

So, one and a half cheers for New Labour. But alas, it will still be farewell some time next year.

Bye-bye New Labour

I've said it before, and (because I'm a boring old fart) I'll say it again .. Opposition Parties don't win elections, Governments lose them.

I think it's becoming clear enough to most people in the UK that come the next General Election (due in 2010) the chances of Labour getting back in for a fourth time are approximately zilch.

This is not because David Cameron's Conservative Party have anything particularly inspiring on offer; rather it is because Gordon Brown's Labour Government is becoming a bit of a laughing stock in much the same way that John Major's government was towards the end of the last Conservative administration.

All power corrupts, and in recent years we have seen that amply demonstrated. Tony Blair swept in on a tide of enthusiasm in 1997 promising to be whiter than white after the Conservative government's embarrassing "Cash for Questions" scandals, and miscellaneous scandals of a sexual kind.

Then we had, under New Labour, the Iraq debacle, donations to secure exemptions from legislation, donations to "buy" peerages, and more recently under the Gordon Brown administration, the infamous e-mail sent by his senior political adviser to a colleague suggesting various ways of running personal smear campaigns against Conservative front-benchers (and their wives). Gordon Brown - in a statement somewhat reminiscent of a Communist dicatorship - said "I accept full responsibility, that's why the person who did it has now gone".

The rich have become richer and the poor have become poorer, whilst at the same time women's wages continue to be lower than those for men for doing similar work; therefore it is clear to me that Labour has failed miserably, since it's whole reason for existence has always been to produce a fairer society.

We have also become the Surveillance State with more CCTV cameras watching our every move than anywhere else in the world. Meanwhile the government is also intent on forging ahead with an expensive and intrusive national identity card scheme (which, to the Conservatives' credit they promise to abandon .. if they are to be believed). Now there are plans to force communications companies to store records of all phone, text, and e-mail messages from everyone in the land. Some Local Councils are using anti-terrorism regulations to enforce ridiculous rules about how much, and what exactly, you are allowed to put in your waste disposal wheelie bins, and using underhand tactics to monitor your activities in this regard.

Well, Gordon Brown, I'm sorry to say this as an ex Labour Party Member and fervent adherent to left-of-centre politics, but come the next Election we shall surely be saying good-bye to you. God knows what we'll get in your place, and our crazy "first-past-the-post" electoral system will, as usual, ensure that the country's fate will be decided by a couple of dozen marginal constituencies.

I have no idea who I'm going to vote for, or even if I'll vote at all. Good grief - I can't believe I just said that!

Vine House Hotel, Paulerspury, Northamptonshire

During a recent visit to Northamptonshire we stayed overnight at the Vine House Hotel, Paulerspury. The proprietors describe it as a Restaurant with rooms.

This is fair enough because the restaurant and food is excellent, prepared by a very fastidious Chef, but the accommodation could only be described as adequate. You have to be prepared for the fact that this is one of those restaurants where the Chef takes it upon himself to know and to dictate exactly how much his dishes should be seasoned, and you will not find salt or pepper shakers on any of the restaurant tables. Whilst I had no complaints about the food whatsoever I still feel uneasy about not being given the simple choice of adding further seasoning should I wish to.

Holden House B & B, Shardlow, Derbyshire

If you are in need of overnight accommodation in Shardlow, Derbyshire, next to the Trent & Mersey Canal and the river Trent, I can recommend Holden House. It is very popular and nearly always full, so you need to book well in advance.

The accommodation is good, and so is the breakfast. We stayed there the other night and got a warm welcome, a good night's sleep, and a first class breakfast to send us on our way the next day.

Trains getting better!

We spent a few days in London the other day, and were pleasantly surprised to find that not only was our train from York to London running on time, but every surburban train we caught in London departed and arrived exactly on schedule. Our six-year year old grandson enjoyed riding on the London Underground ("The Tube") and was quite disappointed when he saw daylight again.

Our train back from London Kings Cross to York was non-stop and did the journey in 105 minutes, i.e., an average speed of 114 mph. A Scottish businessman was sitting on a seat behind me conducting a prolonged conversation on his cellphone; he started the call immediately we left Kings Cross, which was a stupid thing to do because there are at least five longish tunnels as you leave London on the East Coast main line, so his conversation was constantly interspersed with "Can you hear me? .. can you hear me?" followed by long pauses, only to be repeated again at the next tunnel.

Anyway, as a result of our recent travels I should like to thank and congratulate National Express Trains and South West Trains on their efficient and pleasant service.

American Giants at the G20 in London

Shouldn't they have given the Queen a box to stand on?

G20 .. "Anglo-Saxons" versus The Rest?

Well, the great and the good, the bad and ugly, are all gathered in London today for the G20 summit that's intended to put the world to rights.

President Sarkozy of France and Chancellor Merkel of Germany have formed an unholy alliance against those they see as the Anglo-Saxon originators of all the world's financial troubles, i.e., the USA and the UK.

They want more regulation rather than more spending boosts. I am tempted to agree with them. It is hard to avoid the fact that the present troubles did arise from the lightly regulated, laissez-faire kind of capitalism espoused principally by the United States and the United Kingdom. I am inclined to agree that we need more, not less, regulation; and as for delivering financial stimulus we are already up to our ears in hock for generations without borrowing even more to spend our way out of the crisis. We need to expose and close down all these tax havens as well.

Naturally the gathering has encouraged the appearance of thousands of protestors in London, some of which managed to break the windows of the Royal Bank of Scotland and gain entry to smash up a few computers. Since we own most of the RBS these days, I suppose these guys were pretty much breaking into their own premises!

There have been anti-war protesters, anti-globalisation protesters, anti-capitalism protesters, anti-nuclear arms protesters, environmental protesters, socialist worker protesters, trade union protesters, communist protesters, anarchist protesters, and for all I know anti-protest protesters. Apart from the break in to the RBS these huge gatherings have been largely peaceful and handled quite well by the Police. (Update 20th April .. there have since been 90 complaints to the Police Complaints Commission about some Police Officers hiding their identity numbers, and physically assaulting protesters, allegededly causing one death.) City of London bank workers who took it upon themselves to wave fistfuls of £10 notes to the assembled crowds probably cannot be described as the world's greatest practitioners of tact and diplomacy!

I wish the G20 gathering well in their endeavours.

British National Party

I write with trepidation knowing the theory that all publicity is good publicity, and the BNP appears to be getting quite a lot of it.

There has been much correspondence in my local press about the increasing presence of this Party in the area and it's intention to field candidates all over the UK. It has been heartening to see so many people speaking out against this deeply unpleasant bunch of racist retards, but also very worrying that some people are still being taken in by them. 

BNP policy on the Economy is the selective exclusion of foreign-made goods and reduction of foreign imports. This cannot work because we are all internationally inter-dependent upon each other for goods, services and materials. If protectionism is a defensible policy then the logical conclusion is that this country could not trade with any other country because they too would be locking out our goods: self-defeating.

BNP policy on Education includes restoring the knowledge of, and pride in, our history, cultures and heritage of the native peoples of Britain. Knowledge of it is good, pride in it not always necessarily so. Religious intolerance, torture, subjugation and exploitation of other nations, and slavery, are all part of our history. We might of course allow ourselves some pride in the defeat of a German regime 1939-1945 that was based on a philosophy of giving preference to specific racial groupings. (Sound familiar?)

BNP policy on the NHS says there should be no money going to foreign aid so long as we are short of beds. Foreign aid is not only a reflection of our humanitarian values but has the added advantage of developing communities who are more likely to, and more able to, trade with us.

BNP policy on Defence includes the complete withdrawal from NATO and the closure of all foreign military bases on UK soil. (Has anyone told Barak Obama about this?!) If anyone believes that we can single-handedly defend ourselves without being in alliance with others who share our values and interests they must be a couple of bullets short of a full magazine. 

These are just some – though not all – of my reasons not to vote for the BNP. (They do have an excellent Website, but I suspect that if the Internet had been around in the 1930s the NAZIS would have had one too, and Dr Goebbels would have been the Webmaster!)

Rhod Gilbert- Royal Variety Performance 2008

Enjoy this Welsh Wizard of Comedy!

Afghanistan - Words of Wisdom from Imram Khan

The following is part of the transcript from the interview between Andrew Marr of the BBC's Andrew Marr Show on Sunday morning 8th March and Imran Khan (famous cricketer and Chairman of the Pakistan PTO Party). To my mind he speaks a lot of sense regarding the way we are handling Afghanistan and the Pakistan border areas:

IMRAN KHAN:

I do not think Pakistan will become a failed state because it's a very resilient state. You know the people are very strong. They're used to crises. All it needs is a bit of stability for the country to start bubbling again. The problem we face right now is, in a way what he said is right - that the responsibility in a parliamentary democracy, which is based on the Westminster model, lies with the Prime Minister. But here the authority lies with the President, so he has usurped all the powers of Musharraf, who was a dictator, army chief. So he's got all the powers of Musharraf, but the responsibility is with the Prime Minister. No system can work where you divide authority and responsibility, so no wonder the government is paralysed.

ANDREW MARR:

And in the meantime dozens of people continue to die all the time. There was a report this week - another group of police killed by a car bomb up in the North West provinces. At least the impression of complete lawlessness up there, isn't there?

IMRAN KHAN:

Well you know we entered into a war which was not Pakistan's war, and we were taken in by a military dictator. Then we started doing exactly what the Americans were doing in Iraq and Afghanistan, using aerial bombardment to fight the war, killing lots of civilians, and slowly but surely the whole area rose up against us. So now where there were no Taleban before, the entire area has a new phenomena which is called Tehreek-e-Taleban Pakistan.

ANDREW MARR:

So what would be your message, for instance, to President Obama who clearly intends to pursue the war in Afghanistan and the border area even more vigorously?

IMRAN KHAN:

My message to President Obama is do not follow the tried and failed policies of George Bush. Learn something what happened to the Russians in Afghanistan. They killed 1.5 million Afghans. Still lost the war! This way of fighting a war by aerial bombardment, the whole area is getting radicalised. This country, this is going to go down the drain if this war continues. Forget about everything else, we can cope, but this war is draining this country. We should tell Obama save yourself, start negotiation, talk to the Taleban. Taleban were never your enemy; Taleban don't have the capacity to hit any Western targets. And help us get out of this mess, which was not of our making. We got stuck in someone else's war.

ANDREW MARR:

So are you saying that it would be better for Pakistan, for the British and the Americans in Afghanistan simply to leave and go home?

IMRAN KHAN:

You know what surprises me is the British have an understanding of Afghanistan. They've got a history. They know what Afghanistan is all about. They have an eighty year history of the tribal area. What surprises me is that why are they not advising the Americans that this is a disaster for all of us? I mean particularly this country, but also for the Americans, because this is just going to drain them. This war will go on and on and on. No-one can tell me right now what will happen for them to win the war. What are the objectives of this war? What are they trying to bring to Afghanistan? If it was Al-Qaeda then surely the sensible thing is isolate Al-Qaeda, not push all the people towards Al-Qaeda.

Death Penalty

It is reported today in the New York Times that some States are considering getting rid of the death penalty as a cost saving measure. Apparently capital punishment cases are considerably more expensive to administer than others. The Governor of Maryland is conveniently also using his religious beliefs to push forward the case for abolition.

To my mind the case against capital punishment is quite simple. It has nothing to do with cost. It could certainly have something to do with religious belief ("Thou shalt not kill") but the overwhelming case against the death penalty is the unfortunate fact that people are all too frequently wrongly convicted. When fresh evidence comes to light, or a case of police corruption is uncovered, it is not within our power to restore life to someone who has been executed.

The sooner all the American States abolish this barbaric and ineffectual punishment the better.

News just in - Man Uses Vacuum Cleaner

I rashly volunteered to hoover the whole house this morning. Before proceeding any further I should explain for the benefit of the thousands of Americans who read this Blog that by "hoovering" I mean vacuum cleaning. There was a time when anyone who owned a vacuum cleaner owned one made by Mr Hoover, and in the UK at least this became one of those surnames that became both a description of a piece of equipment, and a verb.

By the way, Mr Hoover is frequently credited with the whole idea of vacuum cleaning, but wrongly. The idea came from a certain Mr Spangler. But Mr Hoover was a wily old salesman who knew a good thing to market when he saw one, and talked Mr Spangler into letting him take on that side of things. From that point on Spangler found himself consigned to the dustbin of popular ignorance.

So, strictly speaking, I have this morning been "spangling", and what a job it was. The trouble is, I cannot vacuum clean a room (or indeed a house) superficially. There is nothing that annoys me more than bits of furniture getting in the way of my fevered activity with the howling machine. So it all has to go: chairs, occasional tables, and so on, are gathered up and consigned to another room. I'm not satisfied until I have a clear run at every available inch of carpet. Then, away I go, and as I go I succomb to the usual ridiculous activities of picking up by hand those stubborn bits that cling on to the carpet in spite of the considerable negative pressure being applied to it. I then throw them back on to the floor for the howling machine to fail at its allotted task all over again.

Having completed the push-pull part of the task I then pull out the auxiliary tools and reassemble the machine so that I am armed with the device for digging into those inaccessible corners and sucking them from here to kingdom come. Then, stick that brush device on the end and fly around all things fabric. Come to think of it, while I'm at it I'll use it to "dust" the furniture as well - so much more effective than a duster (and less likely to cause sneezing).

One room done, then repeat the procedure in every other room - pieces of furniture in temporary transit. Why do I do it like this? Do other men do it like this? Is it because we are supposedly unable to multi-task? We are constantly told that women can multi-task. This means they can vacuum the kitchen floor with one hand, ironing the shirts with the other, whilst kicking the dog out of the way with one leg. They are wise enough to know not to use both legs for this, a process that leads to something called falling over.

The male of the species is supposedly a mono-tasker which I suggest is the reason that whatever task they are involved in gets done properly. The trouble is, it takes longer. Of course that was Mr Spangler's problem: had he been a multi-tasker he could have seen to both the invention and the marketing of the vacuum cleaner, instead of consigning the marketing to another mono-tasker Mr Hoover who could only concentrate on one thing .. persuading the population at large to spend money on something that sucks.

I've hurt my back.

Winter like wot we used to 'ave.

Stone the crows! It's brass monkeys out there! My small fish pond has a layer of ice on it that's an inch thick. We haven't seen a winter like this for many a long year, and the country is ill prepared for it. That is the trouble with a proper winter coming upon you only once every few years - local authorities have no sound economic reason to invest in fleets of snow ploughs and mountains of road salt: it would all be sitting around in depots doing nothing.

Now, with the UK covered in snow and ice, Councils and the Highways Agency are running out of salt and grit, and are being selective in which roads they treat. Motorways and A roads are being looked after, but one wonders whether there is any point if one is unable to reach the major roads in the first place because the minor connecting roads are either impassable or ice rinks.

The other night in south Devon two hundred motorists were stranded in their cars for six hours, and people had to be taken to reception centres for food, warmth and sleep.

Then we come to the problem of accidents that shouldn't occur because they are caused by drivers who have had neither the experience nor the tuition for driving in ice and snow. They seem to expect their cars to behave in exactly the same way as they do under normal conditions.

Quite a winter we are having .. an ice cold economy in an ice cold climate.

On the day that London's buses all came to a halt last week, our capital city's eccentric mayor, Boris Johnson, was interviewed for TV and he said there was no reason why people should not make the effort to get into work, and if they couldn't, well - they could always work from home. So there you are, you lazy layabout teachers, nurses, doctors, surgeons, policemen, electricians, plumbers, utility workers, couriers, van and truck drivers .. you can work at home .. get stuck in!

Meanwhile the Bank of England is leaving those of us with a few quid in savings out in the freezing cold. The interest rate's been cut again - to 1 percent. What is this meant to achieve? Earlier cuts in interest achieved nothing, and I suspect this will achieve nothing. Do we now have to look forward to ZERO percent interest? I was interested to hear the other day that there are six times as many savers in the UK as there are borrowers. Our money is sitting around doing nothing for us, and people who rely on savings interest to live on are having a hard time.

I ventured out into the sub-zero climate this morning with a plastic bin liner, having made the rash promise at the height of summer to be "litter monitor" at the childrens' playground. The playground committee had most months covered by a rota of volunteers, but were lacking someone for the jolly month of February. So that's where yours truly steps into the breach.

I trudge down the frosty road to the playground, half fill my bag with plastic bottles, bits of paper and other assorted bits of rubbish thrown to the ground by half-wits that know no better and within 10 minutes I'm in the middle of another snow storm. So, it's back to the warmth of my house and a cup of coffee. I'll have another trudge down there with a plastic bag next Saturday. Something to look forward to.