Atheists are Lost for Words

Oh my God!  .. I’ve just realised that religion and language have been so intertwined over the centuries that oft-repeated phrases become problematical for those of us who have concluded that GOD (as we understand Him through the Judeo-Christian-Islamic religions) does not exist.

What in God’s name are we going to do about it? Invent new phrases, or be comfortable in the knowledge that everyone uses them without actually thinking?

Jesus!! .. it’s difficult! God only knows how it’s all going to turn out. But surely, being able to use words and phrases that might cause offence to some people is my God-given right?!

Lord knows, even the ghastly 21^st century manifestation, “Text-speak” (which is surely the spawn of the Devil) does not make things any easier for the atheist .. OMG !

For God’s sake help me out here. But don’t leave troll-like comments, or you can just go to Hell. I sometimes think that internet “trolls” are people who have the misfortune to live in God-forsaken towns and just feel compelled to give everybody else Hell.

Good God! .. is that the time? I must get to the end of this soon. (“Thank Heaven for that!” did I hear you cry?)

It’s even difficult for me to work out how politely take my leave of you, since the simple “goodbye” is a contraction of the 16^th century (or thereabouts) God be with Ye.

So, as I sign off from God’s own country (Yorkshire) I hope you’ll remember me in your thoughts and prayers.

God bless .. and I’ll see you in my next Blog (God willing).

Irritation Triggers

The BBC's "One Show" at 7 pm weekday evenings has this week been discussing a couple of related subjects: stress levels and irritating words and phrases. (You can do their simple stress test on the website - and get tips on stress reduction)

My stress level is raised by News readers constantly responding to a correspondent's report with "Thank you very much .. indeed". What's wrong with "Thank you"?

Other contributors to my stress score are ..

"At the end of the day"
"Twenty four seven"
"At this moment in time"
"I should OF"
"..like..like..like.."
"To be quite honest with you"
"Minging" and "Minger"
"Par for the course"
"Horses for courses"

"Pushing the envelope" (What the hell does that mean?)
"Thinking outside the box"
"Blue sky thinking"
"Community leaders" (Who elected them?)
"Helping the Police with their enquiries"
"The VAST majority"
"With great respect" (before saying something disrespectful)
"It affects you and I" (Try removing the words 'you and' - then see how it sounds! Should be "It affects you and me")

All aspects of "text speak".

Finally I am irritated by fanatical pedants like me.

There - that's better! I've just reduced my stress level.